right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
