You really coming over, don't trick.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
