I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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