you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
