Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
