i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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