My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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