I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
