he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
