I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
