Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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