just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
