brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
