Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
