mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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