Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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