That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
