I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
