mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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