I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
