You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
