i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize