3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
