Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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