is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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