I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
