his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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