I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
