Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
