I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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