just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
