It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
