Dual....:-)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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