Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
