Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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