we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
