I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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