her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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