She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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