when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
