2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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