He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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