i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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