All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
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We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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