i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
