I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize