he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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