...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
