1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
