Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
