During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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