R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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