I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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