Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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