I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
