I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
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4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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