so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
