She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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