i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
